Do you remember, not so long ago, I went to far-off snow covered lands of Romania? (Link)
Mind you, not Rome but Romania!! Yeah yeah, even I didn't know that Rome, Romania and Armenia are different countries till I actually saw that name stamped on my passport!
I just thought that in English its Rome, in Hindi Romania and in the baap of all languages, Punjabi, it is pronounced as Armania! Imagine a cute sardarni saying - Oye kaake, Armnia jaandi paiyan! Tu fasal katt ke aa taan tak! :D :D
Anyway, when you Google for Romania, more than anything else, you will find references to Dracula! Yes, Romania is the land of Draculas! If you were born prior to 1990s, you will remember Zee horror show where there is a guy dressed like waiter, wearing red lipstick and plastic teeth sucks the blood out of a girl's throat! Yeah, same guy! On second thoughts, what were my parents letting me watch when I was a kid! :O
Surprise, surprise! As you must have guessed, there is no dracula at all! Upon further research (ekdum padhe likhe logo type language, hehe!) I ascertained that there was this guy Vlad, who used to brutally torture any offenders in his empire. Hence, was given the name of Dracul implying dragon or devil in Romanian!
Boring story, read all about it on Wikipedia! I am not your tuition wale sir to teach you everything! Now the question is, why are we discussing this, at all! And the answer is because of his ways of torture! As they say in hindi - etihaas gawah hai - in earlier times, punishment for most of the severe crimes was death. Slow or cold turkey, that depended on king's preference!
Dracul preferred slow death! Now I wont go in the details, but it was a long painful process in which the person wished - bhai ab bas bhi karo, goli maar ke khopdi uda bhi do na?
The reason for this long monologue? Because everyone around me is Dracul these days!! No, seriously!! Now come on, you take a happy-go-lucky guy, fix his marriage and then start taking him for shopping - Every Single Weekend of his life and you don't think that is a torture!!
During the past few weeks, things have gone so very bad that now I can easily make out if the fabric and work on the saree is worth the money or not! On top of that, the other day I even suggested a saree shop wale uncle that Georgette is out of fashion and Net is the in thing these days!! Huh !!
PS: on a side note, you should have seen the look on the shopkeeper's face! Totally worth it! :D Though all women customers stared at me with the - bhayya aap kaunsi dukkan me naukri karte ho, hum agli saree wahi se lenge - look !! FML!
Just look at the image I shot other day at a saree shop! Now which sane guy in his proper senses could take such an image!!
Such a pity to see a-beer-guzzling-butter-chicken-gobbling-punjabi going on the tracks of domesticated non-Punjabis! Doesn't feel right, I tell you!
And the torture is not from one side, but both the sides! Wo kehte hain na, ek taraf kuuan to dooji or khaai! Mom, Dad, Sis, Fiancee, anyone in the house wants to buy any clothes, they take me along! Arre bhai, ab main koi Sabyasachi thodi hu ki kapdo ke bare me advice karunga. Mere liye to aaj tak subha mummy pant and matching shirt ke set bana ke jati hain! :D
Seriously, why can't women buy clothes at one go from a single shop! The other day, I went into a shop and bought every single cloth I will require starting from my marriage till my kids' grandchildren's marriage in one go! And in past three hundred and forty seven trips, people around me have not even got one pair of clothes to wear in my shaadi! Trust me, it too slow and painful death, going into hundreds of stores, seeing thousands of garments spread out and then walking out without buying anything - Kapde to acche the but inme wo baat nahi thi! :O kaunsi baat nahi thi??
I don't remember who said it, I guess it was me only, but then later verified by some Parkinson - that work for men and shopping for women always expands to fill up all the time available for its completion!! sacchi bola na? :D :D
Lucky are those people who marry almost the next week after their Roka. Jitna kam time, utna kam torture! Phew! Yaha to Dracul style watt lagi padi hai bhayya! :P
Oh by the way, Jwala heri has a much better stock at lesser prices for saree's and lehngas compared with lajpat nagar and Amar colony... Aaaargh, forget it!