of types of tortures .. and marriages

Friday, July 27, 2012



Do you remember, not so long ago, I went to far-off snow covered lands of Romania? (Link

Mind you, not Rome but Romania!! Yeah yeah, even I didn't know that Rome, Romania and Armenia are different countries till I actually saw that name stamped on my passport! 

I just thought that in English its Rome, in Hindi Romania and in the baap of all languages, Punjabi, it is pronounced as Armania! Imagine a cute sardarni saying - Oye kaake, Armnia jaandi paiyan! Tu fasal katt ke aa taan tak! :D :D 

Anyway, when you Google for Romania, more than anything else, you will find references to Dracula! Yes, Romania is the land of Draculas! If you were born prior to 1990s, you will remember Zee horror show where there is a guy dressed like waiter, wearing red lipstick and plastic teeth sucks the blood out of a girl's throat! Yeah, same guy! On second thoughts, what were my parents letting me watch when I was a kid! :O

Surprise, surprise! As you must have guessed, there is no dracula at all! Upon further research (ekdum padhe likhe logo type language, hehe!) I ascertained that there was this guy Vlad, who used to brutally torture any offenders in his empire. Hence, was given the name of Dracul implying dragon or devil in Romanian! 

Boring story, read all about it on Wikipedia! I am not your tuition wale sir to teach you everything! Now the question is, why are we discussing this, at all! And the answer is because of his ways of torture! As they say in hindi - etihaas gawah hai - in earlier times, punishment for most of the severe crimes was death. Slow or cold turkey, that depended on king's preference!

Dracul preferred slow death! Now I wont go in the details, but it was a long painful process in which the person wished - bhai ab bas bhi karo, goli maar ke khopdi uda bhi do na?

The reason for this long monologue? Because everyone around me is Dracul these days!! No, seriously!! Now come on, you take a happy-go-lucky guy, fix his marriage and then start taking him for shopping - Every Single Weekend of his life and you don't think that is a torture!!


During the past few weeks, things have gone so very bad that now I can easily make out if the fabric and work on the saree is worth the money or not! On top of that, the other day I even suggested a saree shop wale uncle that Georgette is out of fashion and Net is the in thing these days!! Huh !!

PS: on a side note, you should have seen the look on the shopkeeper's face! Totally worth it! :D Though all women customers stared at me with the - bhayya aap kaunsi dukkan me naukri karte ho, hum agli saree wahi se lenge - look !! FML! 

Just look at the image I shot other day at a saree shop! Now which sane guy in his proper senses could take such an image!!



Such a pity to see a-beer-guzzling-butter-chicken-gobbling-punjabi going on the tracks of domesticated non-Punjabis! Doesn't feel right, I tell you!

And the torture is not from one side, but both the sides! Wo kehte hain na, ek taraf kuuan to dooji or khaai! Mom, Dad, Sis, Fiancee, anyone in the house wants to buy any clothes, they take me along! Arre bhai, ab main koi Sabyasachi thodi hu ki kapdo ke bare me advice karunga. Mere liye to aaj tak  subha mummy pant and matching shirt ke set bana ke jati hain! :D

Seriously, why can't women buy clothes at one go from a single shop! The other day, I went into a shop and bought every single cloth I will require starting from my marriage till my kids' grandchildren's marriage in one go! And in past three hundred and forty seven trips, people around me have not even got one pair of clothes to wear in my shaadi! Trust me, it too slow and painful death, going into hundreds of stores, seeing thousands of garments spread out and then walking out without buying anything - Kapde to acche the but inme wo baat nahi thi! :O kaunsi baat nahi thi??

I don't remember who said it, I guess it was me only, but then later verified by some Parkinson - that work for men and shopping for women always expands to fill up all the time available for its completion!! sacchi bola na? :D :D



Lucky are those people who marry almost the next week after their Roka. Jitna kam time, utna kam torture! Phew! Yaha to Dracul style watt lagi padi hai bhayya! :P

Oh by the way, Jwala heri has a much better stock at lesser prices for saree's and lehngas compared with lajpat nagar and Amar colony... Aaaargh, forget it!

Afterthoughts on the Guwahati incident

Sunday, July 22, 2012



Frankly speaking, I was not even sure how to spell Guwahati before the last week's outrage that shook all the TV channels and social media websites. The way we speak, it should ideally be spelled as Guhati and not Guwahati. As Amitabh says - English is a phunny language...Phew. Anyways...

So what was your first thought when you saw the Guwahati molestation footage? Outrage? Anger? Disgust? Then you are pretty normal, I must say! But just normal, I must add, if you didn't notice anything fishy in the video!

Honestly, while watching the whole footage on TV news channels or on Youtube, there was something bothering me. Something just didn't feel right! To clarify my doubts, I started looking at more mob related videos on Youtube, and there I understood what was wrong in Guwahati video!

I am no Batman when it comes to journalism or video shooting! But having spent 4 key years of my life in a eastern UP village, I have seen and known how mobs work! In short, it is never ever possible to get such a front line footage, and such clear focus on a mob activity!!

Just look at the complete video (I am sure Youtube has removed it due to user complaints, but do some persistent research and I am sure you will find it), and try to notice that the mob is surrounding that poor little girl from three sides - All the time! Just three-fucking-sides!! Because the fourth side is (reserved?) for our esteemed reporter Gaurav Jyoti Neog, from the News Live?? (I must add, the channel is promoted by health minister Himanta Biswa Sharma, his wife Riniki Bhuyan Sharma)

In case of general mobs - where several people are beating one person - the mob is always focusing on the key activity - beating that person! Seldom in such mob activities you will see people molesting the person, and then facing and laughing at the cameraman, as if saying - bhai video sahi aaya na, ki dubara shot doon!

Many a times in the Guwahati video, you can see the key accused molesters hurting the girl and then looking up at camera to validate their shot, and then carrying out the heinous activity again! I wonder if other news channels and law enforcement agencies in India are not able to see the obvious, or if there is too much political weight behind News Live!

The videos available on the net are just 7-10 minutes clips, however, several news reports claim that the molestation continued for well over 30 minutes in real time! Thirty bloody minutes, and not even one police  van could reach there? Did anyone even call the police? Or were all the police guys way too busy in making some moolah, by trying to shove in alcohol meter in the mouth of ever passer by driver in that area!

That alcohol meter deserves an entire blog post on its own. Let's not digress.

Anyhow, the key accused in the molestation - Amarjyoti - is a good friend of our respected reporter on duty as well. Along with that, there is this one NGO guy, (RTI activist and leader of the Krishak Mukti Sangram Samiti (KMSS) Akhil Gogoi), who claims to have the full cellphone footage of what happened that night, and claims to have some pretty solid evidence supporting the fact that the whole even was instigated, if not orchestrated, by the News Live reporter, while trying to get some sensational footage to boost his channels TRP!

I never held news reporters in very high esteem in my eyes, but I never thought that their benchmark is so so far below what I thought! This reporter (if found guilty), should be given atleast twice the punishment being given to the molesters to set an example for the TRP hungry pimps running around with a camera!

And for the resolution to this issue, see the image at the top of this post! I don't think hanging those 18 guys will solve the broader problem engulfing this country and more so places like Gurgaon, which are being referred to as rape capitals all over the world!

The problem lies in the mindset of people, specifically of those sitting at the top! Really-really disgusting to see ministers and even some females at high ranks asking the female folk to curb their freedom for their own protection?? Is this 1837 or are we living in a Taliban dominated society? Can this country not even guarantee equal freedom for just about everyone residing in its boundaries?



It is very clear that the underlying moral fiber of this country is rotting, and it wont take longer when one day it completely breaks down!

...and that is the only reason I just want to fly away from this place sooner than ever! Someday.

I am on a break !

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

As you can see from the pic below ...


... currently, I am a (poor) farmer in a remote village in Andhra Pradesh! (who needs a bailout package to pay wedding shopping bills!) :P :D

Will be back with a long travelogue soon!