How to Deactivate Your Facebook Account

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Do you really want to deactivate your Facebook account? Yes!! I do! 

On a different note, have you ever wondered how much power these two words "I do" have, to make or spoil (mostly spoil :P ) your life! :D #Gyaan

Anyways, for all you village people who still do not know how do deactivate your Facebook account, here is the short four step process from the official Facebook help center page:

  1. Click the account menu at the top right of any Facebook page 
  2. Choose Account Settings 
  3. Select Security from the left-hand menu
  4. Click on "Deactivate your account"

And then some fluffy bunny rabbits will deliver your favorite strawberry cake at your doorstep, congratulating you for your bold manly step towards getting a life! :P

Sigh! If you have been reading my blog long enough, you will not be wondering why I did it because I am generally known for doing such crazy shit all the time. For those who are new let me just tell you - I do crazy shit like that all the time :D

So Bye Bye to all six hundred something Facebook friends, Texas Poker Buddies, and all the free iPad event invitations. Sadly, I am the only one that never won an iPad from the fake win iPad events! :P

Though, my blog page is still active (click here) on Facebook, and you should subscribe to that if you are still on Facebook. Someone will post a link over there, as and when this blog gets updated! *This is called Shameless Self Promotion* Tee Hee!! :D

Anyways, so what's the real reason I deactivated my Facebook account? I will come to that later, but let me digress for a bit:

If you have grown up in a normal punjabi household and seen women folk bargaining with sabji wala bhayyas, the most typical dialogue you hear is - Bhayya theek theek lagao na! She will keep on saying the same dialogue till the shopkeeper reduces 1Rs per kg on each vegetable and gives some free green chilly to shut her up! :D

Now, if you are a Sherlock Holmes fan, you can deduce two things from this sentence - The lady herself doesn't know shit about the actual price of bhindi, but she is just trying to act as if she knows that this price is not right (notice the ambiguity in her dialogue). Secondly, she has a prejudice that she vendor will always lie at the first go!

Now let us apply the example I gave just now on the current situation. It has been around five days since I deactivated my Facebook account. Upon interrogation by the fiancee, I just shrugged my shoulders and gave my typical response - Ainwai! (meaning no-reason, just my wish!) Man! Punjabi is such an awesome language you see, so much conveyed in just one word! :D

But no my dear friend, the interrogation did not end there! In this situation, I became the vegetable vendor, and she became the punjabi customer!

She: I want to know the real reason for you deactivating the account!
Me: None!
She: You are not able to understand, I want to know the REAL reason!
Me: None!
She: Do you not understand the word Real??

Now my mental situation is just like sabji wale bhayya's, just before he breaks down! Arre maidum jee, maine khud 10Rs kilo khareedi hai bhindi, aapko 5 me kaise de doon theek theek laga ke! Jaan logi kya bacche ki! :D Writing the word "Real" in caps, bold, italics and underline font is not helping! :P

The truth is, there is absolutely no reason at all. I just got bored seeing those copy pasted status updates and pics of horny couples jumping on each other in their honeymoon pics! I know, I know the women readers of this blog will never be able to understand that the real reason for men to do something can be just aiwai, but the truth is we are like that only!! Sigh!

By the way, on a side note - have you ever observed that each and every moron who has never ever even thought of wearing sunglasses/shades/goggles/aviators in their whole life to protect their eyes from sunshine, suddenly goes and buys Anil Kapoor esque chashme for their honeymoon photos!! 
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