.. who lives in my apartment building, a few houses away from mine!
For the purpose of this letter, I will call you The Old Lady, because as per my best estimates, you are 398 years old, if not more, and I really don't give a shit about your real name!
So, dear Old Lady, if you did not know, I work really hard during the day, and want to enjoy my post dinner walk in solace for the sake of my mental well being.
Therefore, I just wanted to tell you that I am really tired of watching your scary old face every single time i step out of my apartment. What I could never understand is that why in the name of God do you polish your shoes at around 11.30 in the night and that too sitting in the corridor? And if you are not enough, I meet your twin sister on the ground floor, with an equally scary face and she too is polishing her shoes in the corridor!!
If it is an old European culture, where all the old ladies polish their shoes between 11.30 and 12 in the night every single day, for world peace and prosperity, then please forgive my bad general knowledge. But if that is not the case, then why the hell do you scare me daily!! (Lagta hai inki daili kitty party me competition hota hoga, uske joote mere jooto se chamakdaar kaise! :P )
Secondly, you and your husband must be young and intelligent (hopefully) when these buildings were first constructed in 1902!! Why the hell did you make the walls empty! All the thermal insulation gyaan can go to hell, did you not know that another reason for making thick walls was to prevent noise disturbance in the adjacent houses!!
Today was the third time, that a neighbor came at wee hours in the night and asked me to turn the volume down! Sala India me aisa bola hota to ghuma ke 2 lappad marta kaan ke neeche! Apparently, the Residential Welfare Society (a group of all 90+ oldies) has made a rule that no loud music can be played in the building post 10 pm! Munni Badnaam Hui is a noise for you, but no one says a thing to the couple banging in the apartment just above mine! Some days I seriously get worried that they are gonna fall out of my ceiling!
Sala apartment building hai ki chidiaghar, kuch farak hi nahi lagta! If you remove all the people above 80 years of age, and all their dogs,cats and pets as well, my best estimates say that only 7-8 humans will be left in the building! I mean seriously, there should be a ratio of young humans, old humans, dogs and cats maintained in every residential building! There has not been a single day in the past 4 months, when i have stepped out of my apartment, and have not met atleast 1 dog, 1 cat and one Oldie during my 60 seconds to reach the main gate of the apartment complex!
Anyways, dear old lady, i have stopped going for my post dinner walks just to avoid your face, and i have bought a pair of cheap headfones to control my noise emissions. Rest assured that your already cultureless future generations will now remain unaware of the deep rooted cultural hindi songs such as sheela ki jawani and munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye!
Oh and just as a closing note, I did not say "Bonjour" to your husband the other day! It was an almost similar sounding hindi gaali ... but, well good that you don't know Hindi :D
For the purpose of this letter, I will call you The Old Lady, because as per my best estimates, you are 398 years old, if not more, and I really don't give a shit about your real name!
So, dear Old Lady, if you did not know, I work really hard during the day, and want to enjoy my post dinner walk in solace for the sake of my mental well being.
Therefore, I just wanted to tell you that I am really tired of watching your scary old face every single time i step out of my apartment. What I could never understand is that why in the name of God do you polish your shoes at around 11.30 in the night and that too sitting in the corridor? And if you are not enough, I meet your twin sister on the ground floor, with an equally scary face and she too is polishing her shoes in the corridor!!
If it is an old European culture, where all the old ladies polish their shoes between 11.30 and 12 in the night every single day, for world peace and prosperity, then please forgive my bad general knowledge. But if that is not the case, then why the hell do you scare me daily!! (Lagta hai inki daili kitty party me competition hota hoga, uske joote mere jooto se chamakdaar kaise! :P )
Secondly, you and your husband must be young and intelligent (hopefully) when these buildings were first constructed in 1902!! Why the hell did you make the walls empty! All the thermal insulation gyaan can go to hell, did you not know that another reason for making thick walls was to prevent noise disturbance in the adjacent houses!!
Today was the third time, that a neighbor came at wee hours in the night and asked me to turn the volume down! Sala India me aisa bola hota to ghuma ke 2 lappad marta kaan ke neeche! Apparently, the Residential Welfare Society (a group of all 90+ oldies) has made a rule that no loud music can be played in the building post 10 pm! Munni Badnaam Hui is a noise for you, but no one says a thing to the couple banging in the apartment just above mine! Some days I seriously get worried that they are gonna fall out of my ceiling!
Sala apartment building hai ki chidiaghar, kuch farak hi nahi lagta! If you remove all the people above 80 years of age, and all their dogs,cats and pets as well, my best estimates say that only 7-8 humans will be left in the building! I mean seriously, there should be a ratio of young humans, old humans, dogs and cats maintained in every residential building! There has not been a single day in the past 4 months, when i have stepped out of my apartment, and have not met atleast 1 dog, 1 cat and one Oldie during my 60 seconds to reach the main gate of the apartment complex!
Anyways, dear old lady, i have stopped going for my post dinner walks just to avoid your face, and i have bought a pair of cheap headfones to control my noise emissions. Rest assured that your already cultureless future generations will now remain unaware of the deep rooted cultural hindi songs such as sheela ki jawani and munni badnaam hui, darling tere liye!
Oh and just as a closing note, I did not say "Bonjour" to your husband the other day! It was an almost similar sounding hindi gaali ... but, well good that you don't know Hindi :D
10 comments:
ds one was,,,,,, actuaaly gud:)
oh Gawwddd!!! hehehehhehe rotfl about the bonjour thingy..i now realise, yea its so close to the hindi gaali hehehe
arre yaar, serli, itne patle walls hain kya? too bad. kisi din upar se girenge to mms clippage bana daalna.. :D hehehe
and good luck with the oldies :)
excellent effort khanna!!Nicely composed :)..
ek album bana ke daal yaar fb pe.
Bonjour... haha xD
lol :D
hahahha!!!!
I love the pic of the old lady :)
The idea is to record the upar wali awaz and play it loudly once i na while - so the baju wali thinks that you are getting a lot of action....then she will smile when you walk next to her and no daravna chehra.....
buddho par atyaachar nahi chalega nahi chalega... inqlaab jindabad
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