New Year Greetings

Friday, December 31, 2010

As this new year's eve, i won't be getting any cheesy SMS forwards, and less than 20% of the regular calls (ISD calls/SMSes are so bloody expensive!); I will be returning the favor by not forwarding any cheesy messages and making less than 10% of the regular calls! :D (Yeah, i am such a cheapo!)

So here is me wishing you all, a Very Happy and Prosperous New Year! 

Party hard, drink till you are talli, and don't worry, we have 2 days off till we hit the mundane office life back on Monday!

Thats all for 2010 from The Furobiker, we will meet next year with some more fun filled, grammatically incorrect and politically incorrect posts! Till then..

Happy New Year

2010 in review (Part one)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Another year gone by, and here i am sitting and thinking about how it was, and how it should have been. Its really funny, that during entire 365 days, we never stop and think that how is life going. We all just keep on running around like crazy dogs, which run after every other car at night, just for fun or maybe out of habit! :P

I learnt a very important lesson this year - Connecting the dots! Shree Shree Steve Jobs once said - "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life"

I had a pretty bad fuck up during June/July. I had applied for the weekend executive MBA program from one of the most prestigious b-schools in India. And by God's grace, i cleared everything and paid my first installment of fees. The classes were to begin on July 1, 2010. So around 22 June, we had to go to the institute and submit our original work ex and educational certificates. I met a clerk there, who checked my certificates, and declared that i cant take admission into the program as my work ex was less than required! I was baffled! Baffled is a very tiny term, i was abso-fucking-lutely shocked!!

I just barely made through the mandatory work ex requirement of 3 years (Since i joined my first job on July 2, 2007 and they wanted 3 years work ex on June 30, 2010). But since i got relieved of my first job on a Thursday and joined my current job on Monday, the clerk believed i had a gap of 3 days, so that takes my work ex from 3 years down to 2 years and 362 days! Oh my fucking God! I learnt so so so much less than what a guy with 2 years and 365 days experience would have learnt!

You cant fight too much with these guys in government colleges? Can you? They never even admitted their own mistake that they should have never given me the admit card to sit in the exam in the first place!

Had i resigned one day later, and got relieved on a Friday, i would have made through their mandatory 3 years work ex requirements. (Govt offices dont count weekends as real days, unless accompanied by a working day!)

For about a whole month, i was fighting with the clerk and his higher officials for letting me into the course. I can't even imagine how many arguments and strategies i used to think every single night as that was kind of THE most important thing in my life at that point of time. I took a hard toil since applying for that program in February, giving the written exams, the GDs, the interviews and what not! Sigh!

But when i look back at the whole thing, i simply feel blessed that i didn't make it. For starters I am now not forced to waste all my weekends for the next three years, studying for a 'weekend executive MBA' degree which i never wanted! I just applied to it, because i wanted any stupid MBA degree as everyone around me had one or was in the process of getting one. Peer pressure makes you do real stupid things you see.

Also, if i had taken that course, i would have never got the opportunity to come to this tiny little snow filled country. Which i think is the most awesomest little thing happened to me this year, as i am almost heading the office here right now :)

So kids, I think for the most part, if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you (Ted Mosby, The Architect)

With that note, i wish you all a Very Happy and a Prosperous New Year! May you all get what your heart really wishes for in the coming year. And i sign off from this blog till next year, as i head off to the mountains to see some more snow! :D

PS: This blog was getting too long, more updates about the year, if and when i get net connectivity on the mountains!

Life in bullet points

Monday, December 20, 2010

All work and no play has made me a dumb boy. And now like my slides, these blog posts will also be filled up of bullet points. All these were meant to be individual blog posts, but since they are so small, i am putting them all together.. Enjoy the randomness..

Snow is stupid! - I always used to like snow, let me complete first, ONLY when I watched it on TeeVee. Kajol dancing on the song - suraj hua mattham - wearing skirts used to give me this fuzzy feeling about snow. Sorry to say, I was WRONG! Snow sucks because of the following reasons - 
  • It makes your face and fingers go numb - As someone said, it doesn't matter what the temperature is, once it goes below minus five. Your face, fingers and back start going numb at that temperature and post that you cant feel a thing! Suck it snow! 
  • Its like dog potty! - You know the dog potty which sticks on your shoe and you don't realize it till you enter your home (when it stinks!)? Same with snow! It sticks on your shoes, and as soon as you enter your apartment, it melts, creating a puddle!
  • The whole town is a skating ring! - The furry flaky snow melts into water when it first touches the ground, and then it freezes into ice!! So below all the cute piles of snow, there is this huge sheet of ice, which can make even a person like me dance (and fall at times!! GRRRR)
Snow is only good in pictures! 
Its vacation time - We have 9 days off (including weekends) for annual Christmas break and suddenly that has become a pain point in my life, due to the following reasons
  • Everyone in my office is going home, and i am stuck here, alone :(
  • I do not have a fucking Schengen visa!! Which means I can only remain in Romania and go nowhere else in Europe!!  
  • The good part is, I am contemplating a visit to some of the Romanian counties to visit Dracula Castles! Just hoping that i don't meet any of the draculas :P
  • It will give me a good chance to hone up my photography skills - So we will have some nice pictures of the castles, birds/animals, trees and of course hot blondes! :D
One of the Dracula's Castle
I sometimes feel like kaam-wali-bai !! - I just hope no one from my patriarchal punju community reads the following lines! Warna log kahenge - "Mard hoke jananiyo wale kaam karte ho!!"
  • In past two months, i have learnt to operate a vacuum cleaner and a washing machine! Yeah! Seriously! What The Fuck! Why should someone learn to use these stupid things any-ways? Isi din ke liye mere maa baap ne mujhe padha likha ke bada kara tha? :O :O
  • Why do i have to go down three floors to throw my garbage bag into the garbage bin! - When there are so many homeless people around, why can't they be employed by some agency, who gives them badges and asks them to collect garbage bags across the buildings? Lets see, there are 60 apartments in my buildings, and there are 4 such identical buildings around. If one guy charges one home just 10 Lei per month for picking up garbage bags from just outside their main doors and then throw them into the community bins, they could make 2400 lei per month! Lets assume not all people want to pay 10 lei per month, still they can make close to 2000 lei per month! Which is a decent amount! (Just for comparison, the cheapest burger you get here at McDonalds is 9 lei (appx), so i think, no one would have an issue paying 10 lei! )
  • Seriously! How can any country survive without a dhobi! I fail to understand that at times! Sigh!
Ideally, kaam wali bai should look like this
Blog visitors - Every two weeks, i look at my blog analytics to see what do people search on Google when they land up on my blog. Here are some of the keywords...
  • I have seen God! - I don't know which God they are looking for, the one who sits above the clouds and enjoys his life by watching chicks doing pole dance or the one called Sachin. But my analysis says Sachin, as these visitors reach 10 times the normal days when sachin hits a century! Here is the post they go to --- I have seen God
  • DesiLoveStories - These visitors have a typical habit. These searches and hence related visitors arrive only between 11pm and 2 am ;) ;) ! Sorry guys, i think you have dialled the wrong number! Here is the post they go to (certainly not what they are looking for :P ) --- Desi Love Stories 
  • Kalmadi Jokes - This one keyword has done amazing things to my traffic! Even after about 2 months after the CWG games, on an average day, about 90-100 people come on my blog looking for Kalmadi Jokes! Dhanya ho prabhu aap! Here is the post -- Kalmadi Jokes 

Thats all for the random updates as of now. We will be back with the "2010 in review" post before I head off to some other snow covered village in search of Dracula ! 

Burger chaap baaten ..

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Couple of days back i went to this famous fast food chain, which has all its walls painted with the face of a creepy old man, who claims to be from Ken-tikky! Trust me, that was the most annoying burger of my life!

They have this offer where you get a burger, fries and cola for 10 LEI, whereas, if you take only the burger, it will cost you 9 LEI. Being the idiot I am, I ordered only the burger .. and their began the most irritating 10 minutes of my life ... BTW, do not start finding grammatical mistakes in the chatter below, people here really talk like that!



ME: Can I have a zzz burger please. No fries, no cola.
Waitress - You take no burger. You take Burger, Fries and Cola. Only un Leiu more.
ME: (In my head - Teri maa ki! Tu hoti kaun hai mujhe batane wali ki I no take burger! GRRR! ) - I only take burger. I no take cola, I no take fries!
(yeah, sometimes i have fun in talking in the local language :D )
Waitress: You not understand! I give you benefits! (oh tere ki! ek cola ke badle benefits?)
ME: You not understand. Cola and Fries give me potty problem! :D :D
(desperate attempts to shut her up ! )
The conversation went on for some 3-4 minutes more... Phew

************
Most of the people don't know that Banaras is the largest potato producing city in the world! It produces millions and millions of tonnes of potatoes. Yeah, it never gets reported in the papers because all the potatoes produced there are cheaply procured and fed to the students studying in BHU before the news leaks out! For 4 freaking years, we used to get potatoes in breakfast, lunch and dinner! And the days, when our Maharaj was happy, we used to get potatoes in the evening snack also.. So you can understand the mental trauma i had eating those fucking potatoes 3 times a day, 365 days a year for 4 years!! And kids, thats why I HATE fries...

Uh, about the No Cola thing... You know the difference between a cold drink and a slush? The cold drink is a liquid whereas a slush is ..err.. semi-solid! I wanted to give a better example, but then, too many people think its gross to talk about food and upset stomach at the same time. :D :D Since I wanted to pack the stuff and take it home for dinner, i didn't want a cold drink. Last time it became kind of slush, because of the bloody cold here, while i was walking back home! And i HATE slush, it reminds me of. err.. upset stomach! :P :P
*********

Well well, that poor girl thought it was a language problem that I was not able to understand that I will get "Benefits" if I take the package deal. Wrong! It was a psychological problem, which no benefits can cure :D (Oh dear God! Why did you have to make the spelling of psychological so hard!)

Anyways, a couple of minutes and some angry stares later i got my zzz burger.

Waitress: Your burger, No fries and No cola
ME: Thank you young lady!
Waitress: (in her head - stupid Indians, Not know how to take benefits!)
ME: (In my head - LoL @ what you said in your head! buy a Wren and Martin please...)

Smile Please!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Because i have got a new camera! Yay! Say hello to my Cannon SX 120 IS Power Shot!

Cannon SX120 IS Power Shot

Ageing has its own symptoms, and bad memory is one of them. I forgot my dear old pocket camera at home while packing :( :( :( .. and how can I afford to miss taking pictures of hot blondes Christmas decorations and snow! So here I am with my new buddy!

These days I am reading tonnes of photography related blogs to make use of the manual modes on this camera. Hence, clicking a lot of weird pictures :P  The funny thing which i discovered while reading all the photography tips and tricks is that you do not need an awesome camera to click great pictures! Most of the photographers use Photoshop/GIMP to beautify their pictures before publishing them!

Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai! :D :D

Now you know, those chicks on FB do not look as awesome in real life as their profile pictures. So think before sending them fraandsheep request. ;)

Anyways, here is my pic taken with my new camera, and effectively edited to soften extra brightness coming from the front window, and remove 2 pimples and few strands of hair from the forehead :D