How to play pool ?

Monday, June 28, 2010

After almost an year i got the honor of playing pool with her again! Till last year, she was a rookie in pool, but over the year she had not only learnt to play pool perfectly but also kind of devised her own rules! So if you wanna play pool, you gotta follow her rules -

1) There should not be any balls between the cue ball and the ball she intends to hit! All randomly lying balls will be badly beaten with the stick and made to move out of the way!
2) Its not her problem that the door (windows) of the place are made of glass! I mean how is a person supposed to think deeply without moving stick left and right randomly! (did i hear someone breaking a glass just now?)
3) If you are in the opposite team, you are supposed to have a photographic memory to remember the exact position of balls on the board before she takes her shot! (if the shot she intends does not take place properly, you are supposed to place all the balls back to their original position!)
4) Her handbag, wallet, shades, blackberry and  nokia, all will go with her whenever she changes position to take next shot. You are not supposed to point out that they all dragged some balls with them! (or else you will suddenly feel the hit of the stick on your ass! )
5) Sometimes, the stick may have errors, other time the cue ball!
6) You are not allowed to be happy if you hole a ball! You are supposed to make a sad empathetic face as if you are her ardent supporter :P 

Oh and did i miss it! The most important rule - "Thou shall NOT win in any case!" :D :D :D

If you are wondering, i have stopped playing pool after this incidence! :D

PS: You should also check the label under which this post is categorized :D :D :D (click here to read more posts of that category

Did Abhishek Bacchan really jump from the cliff??

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I was stuck in a jam today, and the only thing everyone was discussing on every fucking FM channel was that "Did abhishek bacchan really jump from the cliff in raavan or did he use a body double?" I mean what the hell! Typing shit in 140 characters on Twitter will not make you a macho-man enough to jump off a 80 feet cliff directly into water !

Anyways, couple of days back i was minding my own business in the loo, when i suddenly heard some ghostly voice announcing my complete job description! I was shit scared! (no pun intended keeping in mind the place i was sitting in!) Suddenly it felt like the judgement day, where God was slowly reading my resume posted on Naukri.com and laughing - Dude u lie so much !!  But then a couple of seconds later i realized that someone sitting in the next 'cabin' is giving a job interview and showing off his current work profile to the next prospective employer! I wanted to shout dude! Did the call came at the wrong time or are you crazy enough to not go to the basement for taking this call!

People are nicely using washrooms as restrooms these days, i know of at least 2 different people who go and sleep on the hot-seat and at least 5 people who play games on their mobile phones while sitting over there! Waise logic bhi hai, saala waha aake kaun pareshan karega :D

Anyways, from what i read on tweeter, raavan is an avoidable movie, but the character limit is too less over there for anyone to explain why so, so anyone who visits this ghost-town can puh-lease let me know why does it suck so badly?

Agla Station Rajiv Chowk Hai..

Saturday, June 12, 2010

... darwaze baayi taraf khulenge.. kripya sawdhani se utren..

Rising fuel prices, earth shattering inflation and my pathetic slumdog salary has forced me to use Delhi Metro on weekends. (On weekdays i travel in an shabby cab, which doesnt seem like a cab at all but more of a minibus running between west delhi and noida and yeah with a driver who drives slower than the rate at which Stephen Hawking speaks! And before i forget, some really sweet cab mates who discuss nothing except chicks, chicks and chicks! Well yeah, thats an interesting topic, but who know me will know that i care more about sleep than about chicks! ) So cab bashing apart, i generally use Delhi Metro while going towards Connaught Place.

In the last couple of weekends, i have generally noticed a typical type of crowd travelling in the metros - 12th pass kids applying for colleges! And i was much amused to notice this (yeah much more amused than the day when rakhee gave her first kiss of life to mika and not me!) that most of them discuss that how pathetic their marks are (generally they all claim to fall below 60% , sometimes 55%), how many compartments they have, which colleges have sports quotas and stuff! I mean where are those talented people who dream to be kalpana chawla (while wasting 3 hours per day applying make up), and chessie dude vishvanathan anands (while discussing only chicks and chicks in all the time they have!? ) I would say ghor kalyug!

The other crowd in metro is just full of usual people - guys standing in a corner and giving ratings to chicks (rating scale varies from katrina kaif to tun tun) , some really worried unclejees who thing that their office roof will fall if they stop thinking about work and talk to someone else, auntejees who keep sporting their FM wala fone ( i have noticed a couple of times that they dont even play FM, they just put a headfone in their ears and then listen to innocent people gossiping, who think that auntyjee is listening to muzik!!). And yeah, some really random jerks like me, who keep on laughing at stupid people while even pointing finger at them to make it more embarrassing for them :D :D :D

Oh by the way, for those who understood what i was trying to say in this post (click here) Full-time MBA karne ki na aukat bachi hai aur na hi umra :D :D)

There is a huge difference between Reply button and Reply All button

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Many a times i openly talk about my hatred towards telemarketers. But these days i am getting much more irritated by another kind of spam! I call it the Reply All syndrome!! 

There is a particular reason that Microsoft or whosoever created email made two separate buttons! Why would someone like to read your email stating "Awwwwww!! Thats so awesome! Tigggghhhtesttttt hugs!!" when you suddenly get the urge to tell whole office that how you congratulated the guy you had crush on since past zillion years and who still asks "whose that" on hearing your name? 

And no, these are not the only kinds of weird reply all messages you get, check your inbox and you will surely find thousands of such weido messages! Managers scolding their juniors to submit unfinished reports by replying-all to whole office on the Green Lingerie Friday email sent by the junior on the eve of World Environment Day. Or a "Dinner at 9" sent to a team of 12 people :D (obviously everyone said yes :D ). The best one was two people discussing the hot-ness levels of third guy's girlfriend, needless to say the emails were going to over 10 people! (This time it was Yahoo groups at play! Even when you press reply, you send it to the whole yahoo group instead of sending it only to the sender!) Phew!

Anyways, seeing the frequency of the posts on this blog you must have guessed that mere work-life balance ko kissi ki nazar lag gai hai! I have been doing some crazy hours in the office last week, and as per the meteorological department - aane wale kuch dino tak mausab kharab rehne ke hi aasar hain! So keep praying to the rain gods for bloody heated up Delhi and to the gossip gods to make someone else try kissing rakheejee! Sala bahut boriyat ho gai hai ajkal life mein!!