The Furobiker

And i am off to the hills for a longish weekend! Best part is - it is free! (sponsored by office) Second best thing - no connectivity! (This is more by choice)

I am switching off all the communication with the outer world, seeking nirvana, doing tapasya on the hills and all that .. So please do not expect any response to your emails, comments, calls, messages ! I will surely try writing a photoblog once i am back!

On the other hand, why is the weather in Delhi behaving like Rakhee Sawnt? In the morning, it was killing hot, in the afternoon, suddenly it rained for exactly 26.98634 seconds. And then again it was fucking hottttt! I guess in the long term, i would like to go and settle on some hill station where the weather is cold throughout the year, even when its peak summer, it is much comfortable and where there are no erratic drivers like Delhi! The more i travel on the Delhi roads, the more i feel that maybe Raj Thakrey was right! Period

I am still feeling so so sleepy! Someone pass the coffee beans please

Disclaimer: I still adhere to my thoughts mentioned in this post (For your information), and what you are going to see now is just a publicity stunt! :D

Building upon a previous post of mine, i so so so want to do the victory dance and say "Dekha maine kaha tha na ye Twitter ek din sabko barbaad karega!"

Shashi Twitter Tharoor, whose political career was shorter than his Tweets, was clean bowled by Lalit Modi through his one Tweet!! And because of that one Modi-Tweet, the Income Tax department started to dust off the files lying on their tables from past 5 million years and started the scrutiny of IPL deals!! Shashi Tharoor is gone now, and i believe, the number of days for Modi as IPL chairman are also numbered.. Even that business executive cum widow-single-mother-whom-people-are-gifting-free-70-crore-Rupees Sunanda Pushkar also had to let go of her money. By the way, when i was listening to her heart wrenching story, suddenly in the backdrop a noise started coming from somewhere "kya ek dalit ki beti Prime Minister nahi ban sakti" ! You get the point, yeah?

Amongst other things, my main focus in the past 4-5 months has only been on reducing the stress levels in my life. Technically speaking, i am finding ways to cut out each extra kilobyte of stress in my life. And the most recent thing i did was to shut down my first website! Yeah my first website, which gave me insights into the web world, became my sand box to do all experiments, earned some small online revenues from it and many many other things ! Well it was kind of dormant from the past 2 years and i was just dragging it on and on mainly because of the ultra cheap web hosting. Anyways, as i said.. Sometimes its better to let it go.. By the way, if anyone of you out there needs web hosting reviews you can ping me anytime!

Anyways, i wrote a post on my notepad yesterday, will soon type it out here.. It was a really strange feeling using pen and paper after so many days!! I never realized that i am so out of touch of writing on paper! Its always typing typing and typing!! By the way, the topic of my next blog is "Jallad ki Aulaad!!"

For those who don't know him, he was my teacher from Mechanical Engineering Department, IT BHU. I generally have a strong dislike for most of the teachers from that department for obvious reasons, but this guy holds the same place in the teaching world as Steve Jobs holds in tech world! I can not even think what will happen to the students of that department, or the placement of my alma mater without him. Lets just take out 2 minutes to thank him for what he has done and pray to god that his soul rests in peace! Here is a link to one of his online profiles i found .. ended with a great message.. "The best Way to survive change is to initiate it"

Yeah yeah, i am talking about the crappy feature in Facebook. But wait, that is not what this post is about. This post is more about the (spider) web of the social networks we have been caught into and how is it slowly sucking the hell out of us!

I dont know about most of you but i certainly like to keep my personal and professional life different. And the same rule applies to my profiles on social networks also. I get a little dis-comfortable when these two things start getting mixed!

But come think of it, how much of your personal life have you shared on line? And the bigger question is why are people sharing so much about them on the net? Occasional sharing of their holiday pictures or a elated Friday morning status update is fine, but then the world doesn't want to know at what time did you use the washroom facilities in your office or how much jealous do you get when your wife declines to kiss you because of bad odor but goes and showers 3 trillion kisses on her dogs!

And now these social networks want you to share your location too! So as soon as you tweet "Ok tweeps, muuahs muuahs, will miss you all as i am going on a 3 week holiday to Lapataganj! And yeah, i keep my jewelry in the second almirah locker!", within 3 minutes, teams will be sent to your house to search for that second almirah locker! You can read about the perils of sharing your location here (click here for location privacy issues)

Enough said! And if you have got some 5 mins do read about this article on Over-sharing and Location Awareness

PS: And for all the Twitter-o-holics and Face-book addicts, please ReTweet this post and Share it on Facebook along with your position (position as in on the globe and not on the bed ;) !! :D :D :D

I somehow felt too bad for all those females who get all the shitty fraaandsheep requests on social networks and those of you who don't get such requests, you should feel bad about yourselves! Here is an email which i got through LinkedIn.

*********************************
Hi,

i got email from mr ravi **** about management trainee position and in email they told me about the level of test would u plz give me sample question on analytic,reasoning and English

i am waiting for ur feedback

plz reply me on

- FR
*********************************

Dude!! First of all i am not in the HR, so how can you, even in your dreams, think that i will have the sample question (you think there will be only one fucking question in the test? You sure you dont want to go back and read singular-plural chapter from class 3?) Secondly in class one, they teach about punctuations like full stop, comma etc. I mean there is no hurry to complete the email and press the send button if you are holding your pee since past 9 hours! Thirdly, why do you think God created two different things called SMS and Email? If he wanted you to just type similarly everywhere, he would have only created SMS service, what is the need for emails?

By the way, i think my eyes are not working properly these days, or wait! Did you just write "plzz reply me on" and then left a blank for me to guess your email id??? Nice game to test my IQ levels, or should i say patience levels? Dude i guess its fucking high time that you stop sending such spam emails to everyone from that company on orkut, facebook and LinkedIn!! And even if you want to send, first learn how to write one!!

I must say, this song is sooper dooper awesome!! Although my hand in punjabi is a bit tight, but whatever lyrics i understood from this song were super awesome!! Ni woofer tu meri meri... Main tera amplifier fier...!!

By the way if you try looking for this song on youtube, every ram, sham and hari prasad has created a video of his own car on this song! i loved the one with chicks in short hairstyles. This is my second favorite song of the month! The first was - tujhe goli maarunga, teri jaan bachaunga - from love, sex aur dhoka!! Cheap stuff! I know, but somehow i looooove such songs!

Among other news, i was driving today(yeah you are allowed to say - as usual!! I think i spend about 83% of my life on the road!) Coming back to the topic, i was driving when i got a call. I just said "Hello" and the guy started speaking and speaking and speaking! He was sounding more like the Jhalluram from the movie Hum Tum.. Anyways, the gist is, he checked my blog and asked me to submit some more samples of my writing and then they will decide if they want to give me a (monthly probably?) article space on their page 3!


By the way, why is this whole country going mad about a girl who wants to get screwed by a pakistani? I know its a free country but i think we should keep in mind the sacrifices of the soldiers who died in the war in the past 60 years just to save the country from bloody pakistanis! Ah! or is it another aman ki aasha ki maa kind of an initiative? And i seriously wonder like what kind of Indians those lawyers are who fight care for kasab and those wedding planners who arrange such marriages on Indian soil!

Ahem Ahem! So like all the business houses, i have also decided to publish quarterly life updates as i have got no business :D (nanga nahayega kya nichodega kya!)By the way, i got this idea from the QBR held in my company yesterday!

So life has been a real roller coaster ride in the past three months. There have been a lots of "firsts" ! My first appointment letter in over 3 years, my first resignation, my first downward reviews, the first bargaining with the HRs. And then there have been real shitty things also. I wont divulge the details here, but i have never ever been in such a deep shit in my life before. Something in my life is now so badly screwed that the shit created by it will last till eternity!

By the way, have you ever observed, that every time we screw up something in out lives, we pray to God - "Please save my ass this time, i promise i wont land in such a situation ever! Just this time!" Every time we think this is the worst phase of the life, and if we pass through this, we can go through anything in our lives! (yeah anything!, even swyamvar season 3 starring Mika!!), Zuppppp! Comes another situation and we are back with copy pasting the above sentence to God!! :D

But the basic point is, as some mahan guru said - "Even if you are getting raped, you might as well enjoy it!";) With that note, i end this QBR post, hope you all have a fantabulous quarter and we will meet again for the next QBR!

Nah! Not mine, i am still a khulla saand! (if you are reading this, then please ignore this line :D ). Btw the roka ceremony was of my couz .. lets call him Citrak (I have signed a non-disclosure agreement with him, and i can not use his real name or photographs on my blog, he knows the reputation of this blog u see!)

For the non-punjabi readers of this blog, Roka Ceremony is the official YES from the parents of both to-be-bride and to-be-groom in front of majority of the close relatives, and the deal is certified by exchanging fruit baskets enough to suffice both the families for atleast 3 months! I could really hear - Going, Going GONE! in the background as the fruits baskets were being exchanged! The rule of the land also says, 'you are not allowed to check out any other hot chick once you have been ROKA-fied!'

I am not a very firm believer of all these customs and stuff, but still there is a special feeling about these ceremonies! Specially the teasing part (ofcourse, of which i am the king) is the high point of the day! Bechara couple, they cant even keep silent and they cant even retaliate :D !! They just have to sit on the "hot-seats", get their mouth stuffed with full laddos and in addition listen to the lame jokes by the people around! And mind you, when 10 people are sitting with the only motive of leg pulling, they would even roll on the floor laughing, like Siddhu paaji even on the lamest possible jokes just to tease the couple on the hot seat! hehehe.. Well that's the fun part of it! Anyways, check out the cartoon below, and dont say i didn't warn you!!

So the bottom line is, now two more people are looking out to take revenge from me :D :D so that takes the total count to 4,67,879!! :D :D