The Furobiker

So all you happy and bouncing people keeping - "please switch off the lights at 8.30 pm today - Lets Save the Earth!" as your status message on Gtalk, Facebook and such 2500 more sites! Great!

I will keep this post simple without much technicalities, as i dont expect my readers to be so well read (padhe likhe), or else they wouldn't have been reading my super dooper intelligent blog in the first place. Electricity is being produced in some power plants, very far from the place you stay. They will keep on producing electricity no matter whatever hour the people are celebrating - Earth Hour, Moon Hour, Jupiter Hour, Whatever! For example, if the people of Delhi stop using electricity for one hour, surely some electricity will be saved, BUT this electricity will be passed on to the connected grids in Uttar Pradesh or Haryana, where there is shortage of electricity. The whole fucking point is, switching off lights will only save you 2Rs and it will not have any effect on the Earth! Because, the power plants are not being switched off.

And being a mechanical engineer, i can surely tell you how the power plants work. The cost of shutting down and restarting a power plant is much more than the electricity bill of thousands of homes for a month! Trivia fact: The train diesel engines, yeah which make chuk-chuk-chuk sound, waste 80 liters of diesel each time they are started! So nobody is going to shut down the power plants because some corporate has launched a publicity gimmick by writing "only 1400 gay tigers are left, no tigress - please help" or by saying "Save the Earth, Turn off the lights - WWF Initiative"

All these corporate social responsibilities (CSR) kind of advertising is on the rage these days, because we, the humans, are the most pathetic emotional fools currently living on the planet! And i rest my case!

Tring Tring

Female: Hello Saaar (in the most seductive sound she can make). Saar, we are selling insurance for business . Is this a good time to talk!
Me: I am shitting sitting in the washroom lady! Can i please have some privacy here!
Female: No issues sir, i will hold the line!
Me: !!!!!!

You all know my love for the tellecallers! And i again ask the question! How the fcuk they get my number? Do company people seriously think that i will buy a house because u sent me an SMS saying Sale Sale Sale!! or any company would like you to explain types of business insurance in your bhojpuri accented English!  Seriously, even if i have to waste 5 minutes a day giving them the most random answers and have some fun, that is an utter waste of time and sanity! And if any of you live in or around Delhi, you must be knowing the pain of getting 20 SMSes per day from those random builders selling cheapest possible homes! No offence to the people working there, but i think they should be jailed for causing mental trauma and emotional disorders to poor folks like me !! !

Since we are talking about all the random things in the world, another random news of the day is tomorrow is my birthday! Oh yeah, i am getting old! Phew. By the way, TFB rulebook says - Thou shalt not work on thy birthday! Thats why i have taken a leave (yet again!) from office, and i plan to spend it in the most luxurious way possible - Sleeping! :D :D :D

.. to saala data kya cheez hai !!

Yeah this is tagline of the whole KPO industry! Kyaaa!!! KPO nahi jaante? Knowledge Process Outsourcing! Yeah the old business research n stuff! Dont worry, you are not the only ones who do not know about this industry.  99% of my relatives (yeah those relatives whom you only meet in marriages) ask me where do you work, and then ask - "kya hua beta, marks kam aaye the kya college mein? Infosys mein nahi lagi tumhari job?"

But then there are some days when you really love your job. Those are the days when you are working on beauty products related projects. Whole day, officially, you can stare at hot chicks showing off their nailpolish (surprisingly those chicks forget to wear everything else while doing so!!!) on your monitor and give a wide grin when someone looks at your monitor and say "part of the job saaar.. cant help!" :D :D :D

Hot chicks se yaad aaya! Yesterday i went to a marriage! and dude..instead of the fighting on the useless women reservation in the trains. i mean IPL teams , abe nahi wo Lok Sabha!! The government should seriously bring a regulation - "If the bride and the groom, together, are unable to call at-least 10 hot looking girls, and ofcourse 15 items in the Chaat section (excluding gol-gappas), the marriage would be declared null and void and the couple would be forbidden from marrying ever again to any human being (yeah marrying to dogs and horses allowed :D )

No, but on a serious note, after seeing hundreds of weddings with the Punjabi pomp and show, it really feels a bit.. nah.. a LOT strange seeing the simple and decent weddings. No daaru, no crazy dancing, no one taking up a fight after getting drunk, no auntyjees showing of their jewelery! What is this yaar.. not done! Phew. Aisi shaadi mein bhi koi mazaa hai?

I would like to tell you the amount of reading i do. I have subscribed to over 350 (yes three hundred fifty) blogs, two national newspapers, multiple Tech- magazines and ofcourse the shitty things known as tweets by the people i follow on Twitter. And the point of this comparison is that when people ask me for suggestions on the best blogs, websites i have come across, i rarely have an answer, because all the blogs i follow are unique in some or the other way, i cant compare them and say that this blog is cool because it gives all round coverage of tech and this is not so good because its about personal relations! That is not at all fair comparison!

But today, i found the one blog which i can surely call the best. It is known as Post Secret. People write their secrets on the back side of a postcard and mail it to the guy who runs this blog. Ok, you should read the following things before heading over to that blog.

It is an American blog, and the people are more liberal over there about the kinds of images and content as compared to India. So don't rate the blog on the basis of that.The second most important things is that, this blog does not keep its archives!! Only 20-30secrets are available on the homepage, you can not see the rest! Well, there is no unsolvable problem in the world except for cranky bosses! Just subscribe this blog in your Google reader, and then you can see its old posts by scrolling down. I guess you can see all the posts of past two years!

I started reading this blog, and have read some 30-40 posts till now, and trust me, every now and then you get this strange feeling, that maybe, you know at-least one person who could have written this one!! So head over there, and make some good use of your lazy ass weekend! Adios!

Hello people,

I was looking for Narendra Chanchal's bhenten/bhajans. If someone has them, please email them to me at abby[at]thefurobiker.com

PS: Thanks for the comments on the last post. I will soon be back on this blog with more bashing posts :D

I have had an itch to write about this topic for quite sometime, but instances in the last couple of days were the last straws on the fucking old camel's back, so finally jotting this down.

I started my blog back in the college days, when having a blog was uber cool thing, and we college kids knew nothing about google and the only way to spread the blog was through getting a tattoo of the blog url on your forehead and/or keeping the link on your status messages. The bottom line is everybody knew this blog is written by me and i put my thoughts here. Then came the second part of the story. As the link spread, unknown people started reading it (say my college juniors, friends of friends, company people etc) and they started forming an image about me by just reading my blog and without meeting me.

Now the problem is, i am a human being with a normal life apart from this fucking blog. And it really starts irritating me is when i meet people and they pick up some topic from this blog and start discussing about my viewpoint and why did i say what i said! And with all that shit flowing in the air, with almost everyone who knows me reads this space including family, friends and colleagues, i really have to blast my minds off by re-reading all my posts 3 times before publishing so as not to offend anyone! Which defeats the whole purpose of this online blabbering!

And those are the days, when i sit and think, what if i start a blog with the name similar to millions of blog on blogosphere "ramblings and rants of blah blah" and start writing with a fake pen name - lets say champak bhumia? People wont be judgmental over there as they don't know who am i, and i can freely write shitty posts as i used to write sometime back? I will not at all publicize that link and keep it buried somewhere in the depths of this ocean called internet. Those who love rants and cribbing kind of posts will visit there and read and those who dont like such posts wont visit there, but then there wont be unnecessary visitors just reading all the shit i write to keep a look out on what am i saying and how can they judge me by reading that?

The bottom line is, this blog is not dead, but yeah going to be a bit slow, as i start riding on two boats. First one will always be this blog - The Furobiker, second one? I wish none of the readers of this blog ever reaches there..

What izz the ruckus going n in the parliament regarding women reservation bill? It is not a DTC bus sirjee, to write "LADIES" over the left hand side seats and vacate it as and when some LADIES get on the bus. Aaaand with this .. i loose all my female readers at once! Phew

Talk some sense people, this bill isnt going to help anyone! Now the MPs will make their wives (Dharam-patnis) contest the election, and eventually they will only rule the place and nothing will change!

By the way, this song from Karthik calling Karthick  - uff teri ada is stuck in my head and running in continuous repeat mode since morning! Why is this Kartik spelled as KartHik? I dont remember Farhan being a south Indian boy in the movie? OK!! Before someone starts teaching me how many states are there in South India and how are they completely and uniquely different from each other, let me rephrase! :( I dont know which state people put extra H in between every name :(

On the other note, i am missing my previous company's cab. People were so silent in that cab, that one could nicely sleep 1.5 hour in the morning and 1.5 hour in the evening! Here the cab is too noisy to sleep or even close your eyes! Even a DTC bus will be less noisy at times! DTC bus se yaad aaya! Someone please explain it to me - Why is Women Reservation important? Or even required?

Yeah yeah, start bashing that how much waste time i have to watch such things on TV! But then as always i wont listen to you, so just shut up and read!

How cool does it sound that three females, along with their whole families are doing the preparations and all the rasams for wedding, and then in a couple of days, after all the preparations, standing on the altar, a reality TV host will come with an envelope and say - Afsos! Aaj aapki shaadi nahi hai , aap jaa sakti hain, Namaste!

Generally (majority of the) people get only one chance in life for all those preparations and stuff around that, so its kinda special for them, but then these reality shows have beaten the shit out of all emotions, sentiments and sold them in the open market to generate money! Phew

And the bigger question is, why do people want to participate in these reality shows? I mean for us sitting at home, watching these shows is a nice time-pass, but then what fun is in participating in a swyamvar? If the show is like Bigg Boss and co-participants are like Payal-full-body-massage-Rohatgi then its a different thing :D

By the way, how many of you think that Mikka paaji (yeah f the Rakhee Sawant Chumma fame) will be the bakra in Swyamvar Season 3?

Think again!

Time was around 10 pm.. The traffic was almost negligible.. And then suddenly out of the blue, a dude type guy in an accent made a sharp cut in front of my car. If you belong to the breed of people who love machines more than humans, this is a certain call for - Wanna race?

And then there we were ... pushing the cars to the limits, on high speeds, almost driving neck to neck. It wasn't a race but yeah driving fast, with cool breeze hitting the face and a conscious effort to not let the other person go ahead.. Suddenly it sprang to my mind that maybe i left my credit card in the food court !! I immediately pressed the clutch and shifted the gear to neutral. (Wanted to check if its in my wallet or should i call the bank people to block it!) And obviously the accent guy zoomed ahead as he was going full throttle!

Much to my surprise, the guy had stopped some 100 meters ahead! It is when i started the car again after finding my credit card stored safely in the wallet, he waived to ask if all set, when i said yes, he gave a thumbs up and sped off again! A race is a race of-course! :D But then you rarely get a chance to race with such gentlemen these days! Ask me, and there is a  good 75% chance that i wouldn't have stopped to check and would have done my winning dance sitting inside the car!

If by any chance you read this blog, hats off to you Sir!