Rahul Dulhania Le Jayenge - Swayamvar Season 2

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The dude who gave nice and hot massages to Payal Rohatgi in Bigg Boss is back on another reality show!! Swayamvar Season 2- Rahul Dulhaniya le jayenge!

I was just wondering, that in season one, guys were showing their macho skills to woo Rakhee Sawant. What will happen when 12 girls try to woo Rahul Mahajan? Strip Tease with a pole dance!?! Wow man, i am already excited about the show :D :D :D . Ok! Jokes apart after the end of Bigg Boss 3, there was a big void in the life of an average TV viewer of India. 9pm to 10pm became the most boring slot of the day and people even started working extra in the office so as not to get bored at home!! :O :O

Moving on, i always had one question in mind! Why dont relatives have any other topic of discussion/conversation other than marrying off any kid of the family who is above the age of 20? I mean do they get any commissions or fees for match making? I really really get pissed off by such people! Abe apne kaam se matlab rakho! Chai peeyo ghar jao! Phew.

Anyways, there is a nice Valentine's day post (read contest) is coming on this blog in the next couple of days! Keep watching! :D

Honestly Speaking !!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dhan te naan! And here is a blogger award for me!! Woohoo! Cherry madam has been kind enough and awarded me Honest Scrap Award! Basically it means that she feels i only write honest crap - no imaginary stuff :D :D Bole to direct dil se!

So on this occasion, i would like to thank my neighbors, few of my friends and colleagues and all other assholes whom i meet every now and then and who are stupid enough to be bashed on this blog! (The real masala lies in real life situations only u see! ) This award goes to all of you people!

And now the sucking part of the award! I gotta write 10 honest things about myself! 10 things about myself? I never really cared to think that much about myself!! Lets try anyways!

1) I quit driving bike in 2006 !! After having a near fatal accident i am now scared to drive bikes above 50kmph. Even though driving car is 3 times more costly, i stick to it. I think i have not driven bike on more than 5 occasions in the past 3 years!

2) This one although i never say but most of the people near me must have realized by now - i prefer to shake hands instead of friendly hugs. Though i never found the reason for this but this is one of my idiosyncrasies.

3) I have designed my dream car to the last bolt! I dont trust any of the car-makers for the performance i want from my dream car. I have the blueprints for each and every modification and design alteration i need! The problem is only money and time now! :(((((

4) This one exactly matches with Cherries point, so i will copy paste her point here - "I like it quiet in the mornings. Yes no discussions, no talking, no music nothing. Don't even like bhajans or stuff like that put up in the morning. Just like it quiet"

5) I am a very very sarcastic person at times! So watch out for your pants on fire in case i am cross with you!

6) I can not remember roads and ways! Thats why i bought a Nokia with navigator ! I get lost at times even in Delhi! That is precisely why i keep my window open and ask way in case i am not having my navigator! Who can be a better navigator than the panwallahs sitting on every nook and corner of Delhi?

7) I dream of quitting all this bullshit corporate life and become a full-time writer / blogger sometime somewhere down the line. And yeah - i do want to write a book too! Even if no one will pay money to read my utter crap, i will declare it open source and distribute for free! Indians love free stuff! They will read it for sure if its free :D

8) I was a total nerd - yeah a real nerd like that frog in Pyaar Impossible till about 2003ish days! I somehow feel that nerd characteristics are still alive inside me! Whenever i see anything techy i have a sudden urge to crack/hack/open it!

9) If you wanna say anthing bad about Rakhee Sawant - You are so so so not welcome on this blog! Get the Fcuk Off !

10) I am a foodie! - aaaand my mom doesnt like it :D

Aaaaand here is the award!

And i pass on this award to -; The Girl, wildflower, yayavar, akanksha, truthful, and yeah back to Cherry

Click here to read the previous Tags i attempted!

I quit !!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Its not about daruu!! Its about my job!!. I have finally resigned from the first job of my life. Currently i am running a countdown of the notice period days. So you can keep a track of it by following my twitter feed (click here). LOL ! - Thats what you call naked self promotion!

I had no emotions while writing the resignation letter but had a kind of fear(?) while writing my resignation email. I mean its fucking creepy writing the first resignation email of your life!! I checked my offer letter from my new employers 20 times atleast and read each and every email i got from them while writing the resignation email! Phew.

Anyways will keep you updated about the new developments - about the attitude of the people around, about my attitude, and every other thing related to the honeymoon period or as they call it notice period! Ciao!!

Dil to Bachcha Hai Ji: Ishqiya

Monday, January 18, 2010

After a long time a song is stuck so badly in my heart! I am listening to this over and over!!
Here is the video, scroll down for lyrics

Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Walla ye dhadkan bhadne lagi hai
Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
Darr lagta hai tanha sone mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji
Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Ra ra ra ..

Kisko ptaa tha pehlu mein rakha
Dil aisa baaji bhi hoga
Hum to hamesha samajhte the koi
Hum jaisa haaji hi hoga
Hai zor karein, kitna shor karein
Bewaja baatein pe ainwe gaur karein
Dilsa koi kameena nahi
Koi to rokey, koi to tokey
Iss umar mein ab khaogey dhokhe
Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji

Aisi udhaasi baithi hai dil pe
Hassne se ghabra rahe hain
Saari jawani katra ke kaati
Piri mein takra gaye hain
Dil dhadakta hai to aise lagta hai woh
Aa raha hai yahin dekhta hi na woh
Prem ki maarein kataar re
Taubah ye lamhe katt te nahi kyun
Aankhein se meri hatt te nahi kyun
Darr lagta hai mujhse kehne mein ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil toh baccha hai ji

Where she writes a poem for me!!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

:) :) :)

Head over to her blog - Click here - to read the poem ..

And yeah.. there is a fotographic proof over there that i was in less than 100 kgs category at some point in my life!!

Google says to China - Screw You!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

"No one has got three balls, but some people have got two very good ones!" - Furobiker

Every person / company and insect has a temperament limit, but only so few of them have the courage to stand up and atleast raise their voice if not kick someone's ass. I only loved Google till few days back, but now i have a deep respect for it from the bottom of my heart!

Someone has the guts in the world to stand up against China. Everyone knows that Google was very uncomfortable from the beginning in showing the censored results in its Chinese version of Google search (available through google.cn). And finally when it realized that not only its search results were being censored to show half truths in China, it also discovered that its Gmail services were being attacked in China to get more information about Human rights activists! So it has finally announced that it will show normal un-censored results on its search engines, be it any part of the world. It doesnt even care about its USD 600 million revenues, which it earns in China,  when there is a question on its ethics and its integrity! Respect!

Ofcourse the arrogant Chinese government has issued a statement, "If you want to do business in China, you gotta go by our rules". So soon its gonna be a bye bye from Google to China. Go Chinese people and keep reading only positive news about china from your positively yours Chinese search engine Baidu! I just remember a small story from the childhood days. By closing its yes or turning away its face, the pigeon can not avoid being eaten by the cat!

Its a free world, therefore it should have a free internet also. And by free i mean everyone should have the right to speak freely and read freely what others are saying!

I can sum up by saying, while the US government can never muster up enough courage to do such a thing, Google has done it by just supporting the right and raising its voice against the wrong!

The Couple Theory

Leaving the arranged marriage folks aside, i have a question relating to the truly, madly, deeply in love couples, which ofcourse includes married and unmarried both types!

As a general observation, don't you think most of the couples have both the partners having extremely different interests/nature or whatever you call it ? I know it sounds a bit strange but as i have observed, generally they are in different directions. One is talkative and the other one is silent types (most of the men are forced to fall in this category without any choice!) One is shy, other is very outgoing and likewise cases.

Do i have some chemical loccha (problem!)  in my brain like munnabhai or has everyone observed this?

Behtareen Sunder Stroke!!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I am gonna take you into the flashback, so cover your eyes with anything black and white! Even an X-ray will do! Talking about the X-rays, i am reminded of the hurly burly turbanator dentist of mine who has been playing with my teeth since the past one month! Ok girls, dont jump and make Hawwwww sounds on hearing this, but i am simply, absolutely and ultra-fcukingly scared of needles and doctors. I dont even take the road where there is a hospital even though i have to drive 10kms extra! And whenever i meet someone who applies a "Dr." in front of his/her name suddenly i start feeling dettol smell around! (yeah as suddenly as the gutarists pop out in the background when a guy and girl hold hands in yash raj movies!)

The discussion was not about my turbanator dentist but his cousin brother Maninder singh who was once upon a time one of the best hindi commentators for all the cricket matches. Aur jin dharshakon ne abhi abhi apna TV set khola ho (With a hammer or screwdriver?) unhe main batana chahta hun ki India haar ke bahut kareeb hote hue bhi apni poori himmat ke sath dushmanon ka saamna kar rahi hai ? " ( Is it the world war 3 dude?)

The awesomeness in the little little hindi-english mix commentary with the Punjabi accent is simply unimaginable in the era of polished firangi commentators these days :(  Aur ye behtareen sunder stroke! And more fun was when the commentators tried to cover each others mishtakes!

Maninder: Aur ye harbhajan ki dheemi gend jispe chook gaye south afrikan ballebaz! (wasnt it an India sri-lanka match??)
Tejinder - Jaisa mere dost maninder ne kaha ki harbhajan ki gend pe har ballebaz chook jata hai fir wo south afreekan ho ya sri lankan!!

Even the era of Navjot Singh Siddhu was fun filled! On one side was siddhu with his Siddhuisms and on the other side was cutie mandira bedi who had nothing to say about the the game of cricket "And i wish there was  more bit of square cut in my noodle strap blouses"!!??... "Oh mandira.. i so wish i was that ball, which is going soo high that it will surely kiss 3 airhostesses before landing safely behind the boundary"!

I mean the more fun of watching cricket is in the commentary rather than exclaiming like some of my female friends! "Haiiiiiiii dhoni kitna cutieeeeeee lag raha ai na aaj".."chal hut! (with a mock slap on the other female's shoulder) Tu mere dhoni ko buri nazro se mat dekh!!" :D :D :D Yeah , all those 11 are booked for you all sitting in this room! ...phew...

Anyways, India played a lousy game today, and lost badly to sri lanka.. When i say badly, it was like really badly, with one of the fielders loosing his pants while diving to save a four! And the whole country went Aaaaah.. Even after earning truckloads of money, Indian cricketers still wear a chaddi instead of some decent Jockey briefs!! This recession is killing i must say!

Ab main Tummy ki sunu, ya mummy ki?

Monday, January 04, 2010

Those of you who know me personally, know this fact that i am a food-o-holic. Even after i have eaten full lunch boxes of the colleagues who still dare to eat with me, the sight or the smell of some good street food from a distance of 100 meters is enough to start my mouth to water and my feet are automatically attracted towards it.

I sometimes feel that the food items talk to me, calling me to save them from going into the stomach of a 200 pound sarkari aadmi who has a bulging stomach enough to rest his chai cup on it. By the way why is chai ka pyala always associated with the sarkari folks? Who cares about sarkari folks anyways, So you understand the gravity of my situation, right? Good. Another important thing to note here is if i get one wish from a genie to have either unlimited supply of paranthas, a room full of blond females or an unlimited supply of beer, i am 100% sure that i will choose the paranthas option. (and wish that genie gifts me the beer for my honesty!!)

Like the Indian planning commission, my mom also creates 5 year plans. And unlike the Indian government she takes her plans too seriously. So her latest five year plan comprises of only 2 bullet points: My marriage and My weight. (there is also a small mention about something something MBA, but i think she has decided to remove the impossible things from her plans :D )

I grew suspicious from the past 2 weeks when my mom stopped prodding me to go on my morning jogs?? And no scolding when i asked for paranthas instead of eating rotis with her gobhi and bhindi ki sabjees? I mean i dont hate gobhee and bhindi, but i kind of avoid them because the whole summers and monsoons its only gobhee and bhindi i can see all around! Familarity breeds contempt you see..

So i sent 5 private detectives to get me leads on her plans and schemes. And when i got the report of the detectives i was shocked!! Imagine ekta kapoor kind of serial where you can see my shocked expression from three different camera angles. The pooja ki thali drops tannnnnn!! and i myself get a huge shock and fall on the floor and faint. You wanna know the contents of the report? My mom has been serving me Recession Paranthas from the past few weeks!!!

She has replaced all the good old desi ghee by some stupid low cal refined good-for-heart oil! And also the butter has vanished from my house! :(  All the paranthas she had been cooking had only 1 spoon of stupid refined oil instead of 4 spoons of desi ghee :(  She proudly calls it the effects of the recession!! :O :O And i can guarantee you that she is not in HR department of any company!. :(

Ab tummy ki sunu ya mummy ki ? :(  Any suggestions!! I cant survive on the stupid recession paranthas anymore :(

Predictions 2010

Sunday, January 03, 2010

So this is the time of the year when all the loosers out there start searching through the magazine section of their newspapers to read about "how my 2010 will be?" This is the time when the Tarrot card readers along with their pet parrots start predicting the future of everyone in the world by reading from their pack of cards. Anyways, we at the furobiker mental asylum, have a team ready for each and every aspect of life, be it predictions seeing the stars while drinking on the terrace. So here are our predictions:

TV Buffs and Couch Potatoes - This year we will have even more 'strange' reality shows in India. Instead of getting some one else's kids on rent, you will get their pets on rent!! The name of such shows will be Pati Patni or kutte.. or maybe Pati , patni aur billi? On the other hand, some other celebrities will try to find some aspiring TV actor/actress on their swyamvar.  Firstly Rakhee Sawant conned the 120 crore population of India by claiming that i will marry in the finale, and then finally just exchanging rings! (can someone please shut off the April fools day CD!!) Let us see what all Rahul Mahajan does on his swyamvar besides marriage ;). We want a repeat of Payal Rohatgi (Bigg Boss 2) style massages :D :D (and yead those swimming pool hot steamy scenes!!! )

Maths maniacs - The year started with 01.01.10 and todays date is 02012010 . And i guess there will be better playarounds with the dates in this year. Hope we get to see some more cool dates to keep as our Twitter and Facebook messages in the year 2010 and show off to the world that how geeky we are!

Commonwealth Games - With even our Chief Minister "praying" for the completion of preparations before the games, i guess we got to trust only God for this. So let us all Indians pray to God to save our undergarments in front of the world by completing the games successfully.

Greenry / Greenpeace supporters - The world has survived for 4 billion years, it will survive for 4 billion more. Instead of wasting your time on doing rallies and creating banners, do some productive work. Even if that means planting some trees instead of just cribbing about how no one is concerned about environment. I guess you people should see this link to see, humans are the least polluting creatures on this planet. (click here)

Love Birds / Pyaar ke Panchi - This year will also bring some ease in acceptance of love mariages of (guy-girl) couples in India. You can anyways blackmail your parents these days - "Mom i am atleast marrying a girl, 3 of my friends  chose guys to marry them!!""  We also advise you all to celebrate the Valentine's day either on 13th Feb or on 15th Feb. With the exponential rise in Idiots around the country, avoid any trouble with such fellows. Anyways those guys do not have enough brains to figure out that anyone can celebrate the Valentine's day on 13th Feb also.

Bloggers - Keep publishing your junk on the net in the hope of finding someone who will read it someday, like i am doing. Who knows that someday you will also become a famous author or maybe get a call from a reality show and that becomes your step to fame!! (I know this is all bullshit but these are the only things that keep me motivated to publish more of my junk here daily :D )

Hope you all have a great new year ahead! And do send me some tips to counter this chilli dilli !! Its freaking freezing!!!