Obviously this post is not for me! I still like girls! Oooooops! I know if i did not rephrase this sentence in the next 3 seconds someone will break my head into a million pieces! "I still like only one girl !" :D This post is for a dudette (she offered me a million dollars to call her a dudette!) friend of mine who after a long long time is being destined forced to spend a valentine alone, sitting with her imaginary puppy on her cold terrace! Sad!

She was looking for ways to hook up with a guy before valentine's day! And guess who came to her rescue!! Yeah thats me! Here are some of my most awesome, mind fcuking, brilliant ideas!!

1) Single and ready to mingle! - Put your relationship status to 'Single' on facebook! All of the guys who 'like' that status have probably been waiting you to put that status for ages! Effortless guy hunting i must say! :D (Just pray to God that someone 'likes' your status :D :D )

2) Garma Garam Chammak Challo!! - Dress up in sizzling hot dresses everyday to the office! Hehe! You are sure to find a Valentine before the valentines days! Money-back guarantee!

3) Shaadi ya barbadi? - Its like a tradition in saadi punjabi weddings. You are most likely to get hooked up there than anywhere else in your entire life! Go and attend all the marriages of your friends, relatives, neighbours, ex bf/gf , unknown people on the road or your kung fu class friends! Make sure you check these tips before you go!

4) This one is a copyrighted idea - Create a Twitter hastag for yourself, like #Jhaansi-Ki-Raani-Wants-A-Boyfriend and then ask your friends, and their friends to retweet it! And then everyone else starts retweeting it! Suddenly you see your name as trending topic on twitter! You get 5000 new followers on Twitter. Ab usme ek to kaam ka banda hoga hi yaar!

5) Sex and the City style - Arrange a singles party! Put julab-ki-goli in every girls drink! Hijack any one of the guys out there, while your friends have a nice day in the washroom! :D :D :D

6) Comics - All girls like funny and humorous guys! Oh yes i have been reading all stupid matrimonial ads on sunday - "I would like to marry a guy who can make me laugh my entire life!" - abe sala pati chahiye ki cartoon network ka lifetime subscription!!. Just create a blank comic and float around a comic contest where people have to fill up dialogs in your comic and then you can select the most humorous cartoon you want to spend your Valentine's day with! (oops i meant the cartoon creator, you want to spend your V-day with!) hi hi hi :D

7) Ideas Invited!! (read the full post for details!)

And using all above tactics, you are still not able to find a guy till 12th Feb, Its the time to press the panic button!!! Use the following three methods in this case only!

8) Frandsheep!- Accept all the fraandsheep requests on Orkut, Facebook, and whichever shitty social network you are a part of! The guys sending those requests are not only single but desperate too! :D . Disclaimer - forgot to add, along with being single and desperate, those guys are biggg loosers. Beware!


9) Create a pyaar-ka-sandesh! - Create 5000 copies of it (obviously using the office printer) and pass it on to all the barista and CCD so that they use it on their trays! Cheap Instant publicity! And ofcourse you can add an Ipod or Ipad to one lucky winner who applied to your Valentine Swyamvar! :D

10) Start sending bulk smses like all those builders these days! - "Dynamic, spacious and ready to move in apartments :D . Booking amount Rs 1,000. Just 3 days left!!" :D :D :D. I know this idea sucks and i am gonna get so much bashing for writing it here!! HA HA HA

So did you like my fantabulous ideas :D ?

So here is the deal about point 7 !! ; I wanted to make it a list of top 10 ways but could think of only 9! So one is left out for the you all to fill! The more humorous and mind blasting it is, the better are your chances to take this dudette out on 14th Feb. :D -- Agyaani

Oh yeah you read it right! She has decided to pick one of the best ideas and yeah she is like every other normal girl who like humorous guys :D

Even if you are a female, you can participate (i may be free on some days u see :D ) What say guys? Ready to rack your brain and create such a cheap mind boggling idea? Give your answers in the comments - click here