Monkey Monkey Monkey

Sunday, May 31, 2009

No Mr Symonds i am not calling u a monkey.. so please dont make an effort of filing a complaint against me as u did against harbhajan paaji.. I just wrote that tagline to grab your attention

All i want to say is just stop these Xenophobic attacks against Indians. You wont get anything out of it.. All in all your country will loose potential future students.. there will be some decrease in revenues and on the top of it,if the Indian mob gets angry, neither you, nor your God or embassy can stop the xenophobia against your citizens in India..

I know Indians have thousands of problems amongst themselves.. but if some firangi babu does anything to any Indian, then all you face is the wrath of 1 billion angry people..

Havent you heard of the phase... Indians are very compromising and adjusting people.. but they can never stand two things
"Cricket mein haar.. aur desh pe waaar"

Looking forward to some good response from your side Mr Symonds and likewise Australian people...

Sorry!!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

As i listen to the song, the lines sang by Akon seem to be perfect fit for me ...
"As life goes on, I am starting to learn more and more about responsibility, And i realize that everything i do is affecting the people around me..So i want to take this time out to apologize for the things which i have done"

I just wanna apologize to my beloved, for she is angry with me.
I realize i have hurt you, and i sincerely apologize for it..
There are mistakes i know, for which you cant forgive me ever.
There were moments when i knew i should have been with you
I have been mad, i have been bad, i have been the biggest jackass..
All i wanna say is a sincere sorry.. an just ask for another chance

I just hope she forgives me...

Ye jo experienced log hain na..

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ye kabhi kabhi bahut mast baaten likh jaate hain... I was just reading something on the net.. and through random surfing found this verse by Mr Kabir

"Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya Koye
Jo Mann Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye"

Click on the image for more such awesome verses by the great saint!


No, no i am not on the verge of insanity as of now.. just found this cool, so sharing with you all!

On a serious note..

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

.. Ghanta serious note

I tried a lot writing something serious on this blog.. but bad luck .. sala apne dimaag ke serious wali side mein koi chemical lotcha lagta hai...

Anyways..


The traffic jams on Delhi roads are increasing day by day! Ab baithe baithe bore ho jate hain .. (no female passengers on my route cab u see) to socha lets look out of the window to the wonderfool world around... here are some observations!

  • Most of the female drivers on Delhi roads are "Madam Firangi" - The drive on the slowest speed possible in the overtaking lane on the extreme right !! - Madamji this is sadda hindustan.. not aapka amreeka - Yaha slow lane sabse left wali hoti hai!!
  • Why do few guys buy that stark pink colored cars!!! - I mean i know some of the guys have different wali preferences in life.. but still a pink car?? Go and have a pink chaddi, no one is complaining.. but a pink car??
  • Cab drivers - Dilli ki sadken tere baap ne tujhe tere 1st budday pe gift kari thi kya be??? No seriously i ask this question daily.. even to my cab driver!
  • Some of the female drivers are soo suspicious- They are almost like sitting on the top of the steering wheel.. They wanna look at the front bumper of their cars as if someone will steal their number plate on the road!
  • Bandwale.. - Bhai tabla wo radio mein baja raha hai ya tu apne steering wheel pe? Although i have no problems when some girls try to dance like the masakali song while driving.. :D
  • And this one is the best category - Although i saw it just once but daily i pray to god that please show me some more of this kind!! - Driver was driving the car, on the back seat the guy and the gal were doing coooochie cooo  - Ab bechara driver bhi insaan hai.. uske pass bhi dil hai... dekh lia thoda coochi coo usne rear view mirror pe and baja di samne wali gaadi pe !!!!
Bhagwaan ke pass bhi bahu faltu time hai.. chun chun ke piece banata hai bhagwaan bhi!!! (shayad log mere bare mein bhi yahi bolte honge :D )

Are Bhutanese people more intelligent than Indians?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Yes is my answer!!

Here is an excerpt from the news in Hindustan times

Nano is unlikely to hit Bhutan roads in the next couple of years as the government feels Tata's "all-weather people's vehicle" will increase the number of cars phenomenally in the country resulting in heavy traffic congestion and pollution.
"There are a worrying number of motor vehicles in the country, especially in the capital," according to Road Safety and Transport Authority (RSTA) director Tashi Norbu.
"Vehicle buyers are aware that the Nano, called the world's cheapest car, will increase the number of motor vehicles in the country."
"We're looking at a city for people and not a city for cars," Norbu said.

Exactly what me and some of my cab mates discuss every morning. Every morning when we endure the looong journey from home to office, discussing everything from normal girls to superwomen (read rakhee sawant), from manmohan uncles second phase to some more normal girls... We daily think, wont we get bored of this 'this weeks hottest babes' topic everyday because instead of the normal 45 minute journey, the time will surely increase to 2 hours 45 minutes when every cycle, bike, auto and 11 number ki bus (read people who are walking), cows, buffaloes, horses etc. will be replaced by a NANO!!

Its not that i am against the progress of science and technology, rather i am very pro towards vigyan ki tarakki.. but in my humble opinion, the already jammed road-frastructure (it is a new word which i created from road infrastructure) will become super clogged to a level that i have already planned our (me and rakhejee's) retirement home in bhutan!

By the way, talking about traffic jams.. I read Juggular vein in HT in which he proposed to rename Bangalore(or benglur or whatever its new name is) to Jam-glore.. a nice idea i must say!!

Some day, when i become the prime minister of some country ( and mind you, the day is not as far as you think,  i am already getting tooo old, the first criteria for becoming a PM), i have planned to rename atleast one state on moon (80 years from now, i think we will have colonies on moon!) as Rakhee-pur!

howzat?

Link for the article in HT

KFP = Ke farak painda hai

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Ki farak painda hai yaara..



  • Delhi Daredevils is out of IPL but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • Chidambram is the new home minister but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • Delhi is melting in the summer hear, i saw two electric poles melting like a candle today but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • A friend sent me his wedding card by email, i replied to him by sending this link (click) , he never talked to me again but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • I am trying to clear CAT from he past three years, and the kids who called me uncle uncle got into IIMs but not me,  Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • I wanted to go to a daru party this weekend but have so much other things to do hat i couldnt go, but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • Fake IPL Player is not an insider as he claimed initially, he is some fake , but Ki farak painda hai yaara.. 
  • Advaniji is not being allowed to take Voluntary retirement from politics in spite of his great grandfatherly age of 81, but Ki farak painda hai yaara..
And of all, my life sucks at the moment!! but ki farak painda hai yaara..

Tips on making a great Pie Chart

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Found this on the internet


Hai na ekdum LOLLL moment!!

New Kid on the Block

Tuesday, May 19, 2009



Kiddy Sissy has started her blog - Go check her latest poem post . Click here

PS: Commenting on her blog is compulsory or else she will strangle me!!!

Not the PM

Monday, May 18, 2009

Here is an awesome article by DILIP D'SOUZA

I am quoting some of the great lines from the article, rest you can go and read on the blog

"A man wanted to be Prime Minister on the back of riding a Toyota around the country and calling it a chariot. On the back of fueling resentments, nurturing victimhood and selling weakness. On the back of no vision for this country of any kind.

LK Advani has lost probably his last chance to be Prime Minister of India. Thank you, voters.

...

I hope he and his party and their various supporters will now learn the lessons that they clearly haven't since 2004. Abusing those who disagree with you, feeling constant resentment and claiming perpetual victimhood -- these things only go so far.

...

I'll have more later. For now, I am simply relieved and grateful that I live in a country whose government will not be headed by LK Advani."

Applause!!

Election result 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

So the election results are out finally.. Congress led UPA is in majority and probably Manmohan uncle will be back as the Prime Minister of India. I never saw L K advani as the prime minister candidate for India. Either bring Narendra modi or our Manmohan uncle is good (Not sonia aunty please!)

As diwali is the biggest festival in saddi Delhi, Christmas is the biggest festival in Christian countries, election time is the biggest festival in the books of politicians. Money, sweets, alcohol everything will flow in the air, just wait and watch (at the right places ;) ). At some places to celebrate, in others "gham ko dubane ke liye"  By the way, daru is the most recession proof in the world. Aadmi gham mein bhi piyega and khushi mein bhi.

Gham se yaad aya, i heard on the radio yesterday, more than 12,500 people applied to become the Husband in Rakhee Sawant ka Swyamvar . Can you beat that?? I have 12,500 competitors, although i didn't apply for that show!
You wanna ask why? Wo kissi movie mein dialogue tha na " Agar tum kissi se pyar karte ho to use aazad chod do, agar wo laut ke aaye to hi tumhara pyar saccha hai " (something like that)   :D :D :D

Meanwhile our Aishwayra bhabhi was looking too hot in Cannes. But jus got ignored due to the heat of the elections!! Take a look!!!

Aishwarya rai in cannes 

Mere yaar ki shaadi hai

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Lemme update you on my vacations on the past 2 weekends. In the first week of may I went to attend the marriage of my close friend Ram Krishna Dubey with Pooja Bhabhi..

I was looking forward to this trip since past 3 months, as a lot of friends from the Mech-07 gang were planning to attend this wedding. Since it was a class reunion after 2 years, we decided to meet up in our alma mater, “IT BHU” before going to the wedding. (FYI the wedding was in Ballia, which is just 150 Kms from Banaras)


We initially planned to leave for ballia around 9 am in the morning (haha, what a joke!) but then finally left around 1 pm :D. It was good to see the baraat still holding up for us :P. It was the first time in my life I saw a shareefo ki baarat – No alcohol, No non veg and not much naachna gaana. Attending only Punjabi marriages since childhood, I was in a bit of shock. If these things are missing in my marriage, 98% of my relatives wouldn’t consider it to be a marriage at all! (The rest 2% are toddlers :D)

Anyways the word sharafat goes for the toss when 10 mechanical guys are found together in any part of the world. Just to cut the long story short, we gave the wedding a Punjabi touch by including 2 of the three ingredients mentioned above ;)

Just one wish was not fulfilled, of singing “tenu dulha kinne banaya bhootni ke” song for my friend :D

Witnessing the marriage rituals was a good fun, with the dulhan’s mom shouting in the dulhan’s ear “Intro baad mein karna pehle acche se foto khinchwa lo” :P

But the best moments in the marriage were after this, when the punditjee started chanting his mantras. Just to tell you a bit more about Ram, he is a seedha saadha gaon ka chora, with no contact with any female species in his life. His only aim in life was studying and sleeping. And if any female comes within 100 meter radius of him, he would give her a rakhee to tie on his hand.

So when the punditjee started his mantras n stuff, there was a ritual in which he has to hold the hands of the bride. MAN!!! His hands were shivering as if touching an alien!! And you could see the guy blushing more than the gal!! All the sleepy (did I say drunk n sleepy?) mech guys suddenly found a new interest in the rituals and capturing the moments “Dekh abhi fir se haaath kaampenge RK ke” “”look his hands would shiver again”” hehe

All in all the marriage was a great fun with a late dinner / early breakfast at 6 am. We were kicked out of his home at around 7 am and then the whole house had a sigh of relief!

PS: Some details have been omitted about the naach gaana stuff to maintain the U/A rating of this blog :D :D :D

Do read this post also , its my fav post!!! a few pieces of colored paper...(click here)

MY blog on Business Standard

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I was checking the traffic on my blog, and suddenly realised a jump in the traffic. When i looked into the source i was astonished to find my blog mentioned in Business Standard!!! Although it is a very small mention, still i would count it as a feather in the cap . Here is the link (Click here )
My blog is mentioned in last paragraph "The Furobiker"

Cheers

Vacation over ..back to work

Monday, May 11, 2009

After roaming about half of Indian states in the past 2 weeks, i am back to saddi delhi now. I noticed one thing in southern part of India, too much discrimination - telgu, malyalam, tamil n what not.. here in north we do not have so much discrimination.. here either you are a punjabi or you are not :D

I touched a 10 Rs coin for the first time, it is not much different from 1Rs coin in weight! And guess what, the coin i touched was 2008 make!!

Its raining in Delhi now! Hailstorms, thunderstorms and what not!! I am loving this weather!!

Happy Mothers Day

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Hi Mom

Wishing you a very happy mothers day!!

Dr. Kumar Vishvas

Friday, May 08, 2009

While i am on a vacation till Sunday, here is some poetry by my favorite poet.. Dr Kumar Vishvas

he is the humor king... just listen to the first video and i bet you cant resist playing the second!!

Dr Kumar Vishvas - Part one




Dr. Kumar Vishvas - Part Two


The Reality of Fake IPl Player

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

So the whole world is chanting the name of fake ipl player. Who is Fake IPL Player ??
So the furobiker club sent his investigation team. Some of the Suspects are

The man himself - Shahrukh Khan  




The Super hot Ziety Printa oops priety zinta (oh man.. shes soo hot)
Apne Harsha Bhogle Chacha
Apne Sourav Ganguly dada
OR
The IPL Cheer leaders?
OR
Faisla ab aapke haath mein hai...
Solve the mystery of real Fake IPL Blogger..Do leave your votes in the comments!!

Is IRONICAL the right word to describe both Life & Love?

Monday, May 04, 2009

Hey people i am back from my extended weekend..Will write a post about it soon. Here is a guest post by the famous author and my friend Dr. Rohit Bhasin. .. Sabhi log taaliyon ki gadgadah at se unka swagat kijiye


Is IRONICAL the right word to describe both Life & Love? – My perspective



That’s a question that I guess everyone faces everyday and in some instances, every moment. But, the irony is that irony chose to envelope the two most important aspects of the very existence of everyone: Life & Love.
I look around and often wonder why…………
Why some people just decide to take control of everyone else’s life?
Why they may kill or torture someone for their own pleasure?
Why someone else’s happiness is often accompanied by some other person’s broken heart?
Why playing of merry bands is often coincided with a deafening silence and shrieks of pain and crying in someone else’s place?
Why two people who swear to live together for their entire life, decide to part their ways over small issues?
Why at many points in life we seem to lose the point of living, cherishing and respecting the ones that constitute our LIFE and make our LIFE?
…………The list seems endless.


But as they say there is a brighter side to every incidence and everything happens for a reason. It has been designed and programmed this way (Courtesy: The GOD); for us to know and for us to cherish what we have and be afraid and conscious and learn from these ironies. To be able to enjoy our happiest of times with a feeling encompassing our mind that nobody is as lucky as we are at that moment. It is important to realize that we could, can and (potentially will be) in someone else’s shoes at some point of time. Their sorrow, their misery or their sheer hard luck is something that can extend to anyone else too OR may be the immense happiness, money, good luck and blessings of loved ones; be something that can be mine or yours anytime.


This applies to “love” as well. One must be fortunate to be able to receive and enjoy the blessings and love of your family, your girlfriend, wife or even people around. Being blessed with loving with good parents and a loving soul mate is a matter of chance, luck and fortune (and I am sure Abhi agrees with me on that one). But how many of us realize that? Only few of us are able to consistently appreciate, respect and reciprocate the immense love we are showered upon by our parents and partner. Everyone just seems to lose its value with time, especially guys. No I am not a feminist but I feel these ironies and values and life are better valued and absorbed by girls. Maybe, that’s their innate nature and strength.


But does that mean guys can afford to ignore these things……..NO. Why should we not reciprocate for what all we get in return? Ever wondered why your parents/wife keeps waiting when you return late at night OR why they keep calling you on your way back home or way to office until you reach safely OR why they pray for your well-being even when you talk to them the rudest, when upset OR ever seen a child smiling and innocently touching your face, expecting you to smile back OR an elderly lady selflessly giving you all the blessings she can just because you touched her feet……..There are no reasons, it is because it is like that. We all will be doing that when we reach that stage or are in their shoes. But when we are young and relentlessly working to make ends meet and running in this never-ending chase for money and wealth…………..we just forget OR we just don’t have time to ponder over it. But when we do it’s mostly too late.


I guess to make one’s life worth living, we must learn to adapt and start cherishing the innocence, honesty, empathy, the love and the laughter that a child has; to be able to respect and spread love, life and humanity….and just now that we are being watched and will be held responsible for our all wrong doings. Follow your heart and do your best…..do good and be good and rest will follow……
As they say “Dil Agar Sacha Ho To RABB Sab Karde Setting”…………………….and for a start “GO VOTE”……..it can be crucial for the life of the entire nation…J

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