what...??

Friday, July 27, 2007

Phew.. a lot has happened in this world since i went into hibernation few weeks back..

Finally our Prathibhaji have become the first mahila Rashtrapati.. watever that means.. anyways.. congrats to her.. but will rashtrapati bhawan will retain its name or rechristened to rashtrapatni bhawan ?? whatever..

More shocking news was Shilpa shetty picked up an honorary degree at England's Leeds Metropolitan University.. any sane guy who has wasted precious 21 years of his life just to pick up a damn BTech degre will start pulling his hair.. i am also ready to go and hear any racist remarks if some university is willing to give me honorary degrees without studying.. !!

Neways these are small things considering the magnitude of problem i have at hand.. since the time i completed my engineering and came back home.. the amount of survillence by my mom n sis have reached its zenith.. If by mistake i get a call.. and if its from a gal n goes over 2.5 seconds.. aankhon aankhon mein isharebaazi starts between my mom n sis... and then comes the series of questions.. even a hard core criminal lawer will faint hearing tht level of grilling :(
kaun hai wo.. kaha ki hai.. kitni padi likhi hai. khana banana janti hai ki nahi.. uski DOB aur time of birth bata.. kundali milani hai..!!!! these all questions are fired before i can open up my mouth to say.. "I din even knew her, she was from some credit card company, giving me credit card for free..."

Last night i felt deeply concerned and ashamed of the education system of india.. inspite of being a mechanical engineer i was dying because of cold.. as i lost the remote of AC somewhere and i didnt knew how to increase its temperature without remote.. :( i tried everything from scolding it to throwing hawai chappals at it.. but it kept throwing chilled air in the room.. finally after an hour of struggling of getting under the matress.. to putting newspaper in front of its outlet.. finally i got an idea.. i turned its main switch off.. swithced on the fan n slept :D

n yea.. read a nice line outside one of the homes.. which i think belonged to our beloved himesh reshammiya...
"beware of the owner, the dog is fine "

train train...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Well i was talking to a friend who came to "big bad delhi" from sharafatganj... suddenly his fone rang up, he said "excuse me, home" n suddenly after around 3.5 seconds i saw him holding his cell 2 feet away from his ear n jus sayin "yes mom" , "sure","yes mom" , "sure" continuously for around 10-15 minutes... suddenly i burst up ini laughter.. i remembered my good old college days .. especially when i was about to come home from varanasi.. so here goes the conversation with my family during those crucial moments when icalled them from station to say m boarding which train n when...
Dad:- did you lock up ur room before leaving?
AK:- yes dad

Dad:- u sure u didnot lock your keys inside
Ak:-noway, i safely threw them into my room from the ventilator after locking the room, to keep it safe

Dad:- grrrrrrrrr... be serious sometimes.. u kept ur wallet?
AK:- yeah .. but no use.. u din send me extra pocketmoney for beer so m bankrupt now..

Dad:- behave!!! what are u wearing..?
AK:-:O red shirt , yellow pants n pink shoes

Dad:- :O shutup... distribute ur money in different pockets.. dont keep them altogether...
AK:-aah.. i just remembered the movie"mujhse shaadi karogi" where salman keeps 3 gullaks wid him :P

Dad:- you are going out of hands now.. having a lock n chain with u
AK:-no dad.. y wud i keep a chain with me :O

Dad:- heck off.. for the luggage.. not for u..
AK:-phew.. thank god

Dad:- you having your ATM with you??
AK:-nah..i donated it to tsunami victims..

Dad:- heck off... talk to ur mom
AK:-sure dad

now comes the typical mummy stuff... either she would treat u as a 5 year old kid .. n when you try to convince her that you are grown up.. she just start suggesting you nice punjabi gals.. grrrrrrrrrr.. m pulling my hair....


Mom:-dont get down from the train in between...
AK:- dont worry mom, driver is on leave today, so m driving it, i wont be left behind ;)

Mom:-huh, shutup n jus listen...
At this juncture i keep the fone 2 feet away from my ears.. n start "yes mom" , "sure","yes mom" , "sure"

Mom:-dont talk to strangers on the way, dont eat toffee chocs, biscuits from strangers, ajkal zamana bahut kharab hai, switch off lights fan n comp in your hostel room before leaving, keep small locks n chain for all ur luggage, count your luggage before taking an auto, dont sit in an auto whose driver is looking suspecious, dont tell the driver that where you are going by train, reach atleast one hour before train timings, keep ur cell wallet creditcards inside in ur pockets only, dont get up from your seat again n again, dont get down at any station in between , coutnt your luggage wen u get down , note down the regn number of coolie who carries ur luggage, dont pay him too much, take auto from registered pre paid stand only, count ur luggage wen u get down at home, ask all the people around u to wake u up in the morning, touch feet of elders when you get down at home, no flirting with gals at all in train, n even if u do ask the date of birth n tell me so that i will get ur kundalis matched with our panditjee n then will give u green signal to go ahead or not.. n keep ur eyes open all the time for suspecious people, no long talking over the fone during the train..n have u kept warm clothes n blanket for the journey., dont bring too much luggae with u,dont take ur hands outside the window, n dont poke ur finger in ur nose, it looks bad..phew
by this time mom realises that m saying "yes mom" , "sure","yes mom" , "sure" even when shes taking a break in between to breathe.. :D so she finally stops n says .. ok all the best for the journey n do remember my ""few instructions""
look mom i still remember :D